Xivanki Share !!: Top 10 interesting quotes from UP professors

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The University of the Philippines is the country’s prime mover of academic freedom. It’s where the creams of the crop go as majority would say. I never got the chance to be in UP, and I wonder what it feels like to be there. I may never know, but here are excerpts on what UP students have recorded of their professors’ wit and humor during classes. This may provide us with an idea of what a UP classroom feels like (in case you haven't been there).

My late friend Ray, who took his PhD in UP Los Baños, used to email me a collection of what UP students call ”quotable quotes” from their professors. It doesn’t say where the email originally came from (it was forwarded many times) and I don’t have any means of verification. However just for the fun of it, here are 10 of my favorites from the list. I have enclosed some English translation in brackets [ ] for the sake of our non-Filipino readers.

"Class, next week na lang ung result sa exam nyo [Class, I’ll give the results of your exam next week]. I am having a hard time checking it. I will seek first the divine guidance on what to do about it. Class, don’t worry about your grade. Let me worry about it."
- Sir de Jesus, Envi Sci 1

MA'AM: Many people believe that we, psychology graduates can read minds...
(Silence…). Actually, we can.
CLASS: Weh! Sample.
MA'AM: Right now, you think that I'm bluffin’
- Ma'am Chei Billedo, Psych

"I don't give surprise long exams. All exams are announced. Halimbawa, Class, mageexam tayo, NGAYON NA!" [Example. Class, we’ll have an exam, RIGHT NOW!]
- Ma'am Chei

"Oo, nagpapaulan ako ng uno... baket? aanhin ko ba yun? di naman ako yayaman dun." [Yes, I give perfect grades…why? What will I do with that? I won’t get rich from it]
- Sir Atoy Navarro, Histo I

"Last sem was the first time that I gave a grade of 5, and it felt good!!!"
-Prof Goldie, Comm II, circa 1998, first day of class

Atheist ako, pero pag nasa bahay, nagro rosary kami ng Nanay ko, eh kung magalit sa kin yun. [I’m an atheist, but when I’m at home I pray the Rosary with my Mom, what if she’ll get angry]
- Socio 11 Prof

"Kaya nga ideal eh, hindi siya nangyayari sa totoong buhay [That’s why it’s ideal, it doesn’t happen in real life]. Pero an approximation is good enough"
- Sir Engle, on ideal and real systems

Terror prof after an exam (last day na din ng class..): ok class.. see you next sem!

CLASSMATE: Ma'am, pwede po bang next week na kami mag report? [Ma’am can we do our report next week instead?]
MA'AM: Alam mo [You know], God is good. And I am God. So yes, pwede next week.

Ma'am Vitriolo (2nd to the last meeting)
Okay class, next week, we start the lecture proper.

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How about you? Does something like any of these ever happens in your classroom?